2002.02.14: Grandma-in-law and her arguments (part 1)
My grandma-in-law is a wonderful woman. She loves to get into completely ridiculous arguments, whereupon she'll deploy logic that is unlike our Earth logic. It is at the same time terribly frustrating and highly amusing.
Last year, we were doing some shopping downtown. As we were walking from one store to another, we saw a group of protesters gathering on a corner. I caught a glimpse of some of their signs and saw the words "Israel", "Middle East" and "Palestine" on them. Grandma-in-law instantly got angry.
Grandma: "I bet they're fur protesters. I hate fur protesters. They throw paint on your fur coats as you walk by them, you know."This went on for fifteen minutes or so. None of us were able to convince her that a) Protests are legal, or b) Those were not fur protesters.
Fur protesters?!?
Me: "Ummm...Grandma, I don't think they're fur protesters. I think this protest has something to do with the Middle East."
Grandma (continuing undaunted): "Those fur protesters are so horrible. I think that it should be illegal for them to throw paint on you..."
Me (interjecting): "It already is illegal for them to throw paint on you..."
Grandma (ignoring me): "...in fact, I think that it should be illegal for them to protest at all. They shouldn't be allowed to gather on a street corner and intimidate people. It's unconstitutional!"
Me: "Actually, it is constitutional. They have the constitutional right to assemble..."
Grandma: "It is NOT constitutional. I have a right to wear fur. I have a constitutional right to wear fur. They can't protest that."
Me: "Grandma, you do not have a constitutional right to wear fur. They do have the constitutional right to assemble. And they're not even fur protesters. I think they are protesting something about the Middle East. Look at their signs!"
Grandma (sure of herself despite the signs to the contrary): "That protest should be illegal. It's Un-American. I hope the police come and arrest all of those fur protesters."
Curtis says:
Fur is dead. (And unlike Cher's career, it's not coming back!)
Need proof? Just compare the trolls who are trying to revive it with the countless luminaries who have sworn off fur for good. On the animals' side are Pamela Anderson, Britney Spears, Calista Flockhart, Alicia Silverstone, RuPaul, Boss Models, Stella McCartney, Calvin Klein, Tyra Banks, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kim Basinger, Marc Bouwer, Giorgio Armani, Todd Oldham, Jamie Lee Curtis, Christy Turlington, and many more. Even America's favorite doll, Barbie, has banned fur from her Dreamhouse. In fact, it's hard these days to find anyone who hasn't been repulsed by the suffering the fur industry inflicts on animals -- whether they are caught in barbaric traps in the wild or electrocuted or gassed on filthy fur farms.
Fur is such a social liability that I've come up with the perfect accessory for the Neanderthals still dressing in skins: a paper bag to cover their heads!
I look forward to the day when everyone can fully prove social responsibility and realize that selling/wearing fur is no longer politically correct, fashionable, or kind.
For information, please visit PETA's web site www.FurIsDead.com
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