[present tense]

March 2003

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2003.03.21

The Hammer of the Headache Gods

10:00 AM PST :: comments: 2

I wake up. Look at the clock--7:45. The Aura has woken me up. Great. That means that the pain will come in 5 seconds. I'm too groggy to brace myself for it. 5...4...3...2...1...

The pain descends like a lead curtain; crushing me with its weight, smothering me with a final certainty, and cutting me off from the normal world. I gasp and writhe in pain. I feel like there is a drill in my brain, pushing in through the base of my skull and pushing out through my right eye.


This is a cluster headache (a close relative to the migraine). If the pain is so bad that I am unable to go back to sleep, then it will last for at least 8 hours. I am unable to go back to sleep. Ugh.

I go to reach for my cluster medicine, but a voice from the small portion of my brain that is still lucid tells me to wait.

"You've got a midterm in two hours."

"The cluster medicine precludes any sort of concentration."

"If you take the medicine, then you won't be able to think during the midterm."

Shit. It takes three torturous minutes to squeeze out these three short thoughts. It takes another three to realize the flaw in the argument.

"If I don't take the medicine, then I will be in delirious pain."

"Delirious pain also precludes any sort of concentration."

"Since I won't be able to concentrate in any case, I may as well choose the option that includes less pain."

Medicine it is. So here I am, about to take my exam. I gave a decent effort at cramming, but my meds didn't make that very profitable, so I've given up. My teeth and fingertips are tingling (my toes too). I've got a bit of a buzz going. I can still feel the headache, but it feels distant and I don't really care about it.

Wish me luck on my exam.

-wink